My mom and I have talked about that kind of thing and she knows to call me directly if someone ever tries to say something happened to me. She’s not stupid, but maybe just not growing up with people constantly trying to scam her at every turn hasn’t prepared her for the depths these assholes will sink to, and they’ve gotten so much more sophisticated.

I keep kind of hoping I get this one. I’m ace, so I definitely haven’t been watching porn of any kind, and my house has changed dramatically since the last time google came by, so it would just be entertaining. But then I see people on nextdoor all freaked out that “someone has pictures of their house,” and it makes me wish for a large, extremely targeted sinkhole to open up under all these scammers.

And I want whoever came up with this idea to spontaneously combust, but neither of us is going to get what we want.

Oh I’m the opposite - I’m not a very good cook because I don’t enjoy doing it. I’m pretty good with flavors because I’m not afraid of seasonings, but my knife skills are bordering on Worst Cook in America levels. The abuse I have wrought upon poor, innocent, delicious onions is a crime.

Also, if you like the fried onions, have you seen the jalapeno version? So good. I’ve started putting them on everything.

I’m the worst about this. My mom and I will try a new restaurant and I’ll be talking about “oh this needs acid, that’s the perfect amount of heat, blah blah.” Meanwhile, I’m over here “cooking” noodles with a pile of kimchi every other day because that’s all I ever have in the fridge.

Hardness of the Sexbots?

Depends on if you care about making set playlists. That’s the feature that generally costs more - Pandora is like $5 a month without that option, and $11 with it. I only listen in the car and don’t care about picking exactly what songs are on my stations, so I have the cheaper one, but for other people, that wouldn’t cut it.