A very long time ago, and much less technologically advanced:

I went to boarding school. We had a little bit of a propensity for sneaking out of the dorm at night.

New dean comes in our senior year and installs alarms on all the exits.

Our senior year time capsule contains the controlling keypad to that alarm system that wasn’t even functional for twenty four hours.

I’ve no doubt that today’s teens possess the ingenuity to bypass if not completely disable this thing.

Fucking Adobe PDF is becoming damn near unusable because of this. Frustrating because I absolutely have to use it all day every day.

Go choke on a two ounce kinder egg

I mean to tell you that I’m that regular. Once in the morning and I’m done until tomorrow.

And yes, I wash my body every single day. Are you telling me the paragon of asshole cleanliness that is Europeans doesn’t?

God Europeans are so eager so shit on all of us. Is it the orange monkey we elected? Is that what did it?

I know Europe loves to shit all over the US on this topic.

Unless I’m sick, well over 95% of my poops take place immediately before I shower. I don’t really see how this is any different.

I had an Apple ][+ in 1982 and an Apple ][c in 1984.

Cost less is a relative term depending on application.

They were cheaper than full business model IBM computers (who hadn’t much entered into the home computer market) but significantly more expensive than other home offerings such as commodore or (shudder) radio shack.

I went over once when they were shooting off commercial grade fireworks on a Wednesday night and feel lucky to have escaped alive. The young bulls got threatening with me until the older guy came out and spoke reason. It’s just a product of where I live.

Here in the Texas summer it’s about seven in the morning. Annoying, but everybody realizes that if you go out any later, you’re gonna die of heat stroke.

My neighbors consistently party until about five in the morning with outdoor speakers on the weekends. I’m generally up for the day before they’re done with last night, and I get to enjoy free concerts from their sound system.

You’re God damned right I’ve zero qualms about firing up the lawn mower as soon as the sun breaks the eastern horizon.

I don’t think they’re allowed to eat the cake anymore. They have to throw it all away at the end of the day instead.

I didn’t wake up this morning with the knowledge that I’m about to move to Pennsylvania and convert to being Amish.

JK Rowling discovered girls in Hogwarts experimenting with this and duly expelled them from the entire series.

PayPal was so far ahead of the curve. I’ve actively avoided using them for a long because of something that happened many years ago. I sense that young people see it as a boomer app.

PayPal could’ve been the big bank of the Internet and they fucked it up.

You can use them as a crude compass next time you find yourself unexpectedly in the wilderness.

Shitty Boeing aside, how are they eating up there? I don’t know anything about space station food logistics, but if a planned week has turned into ten weeks, surely there must be a resource strain.

Edit: Google search says they can regularly send up unmanned supply ships.

This sounds like a modern day version of the Schlitz mistake back in the seventies where they cut the quality so much, so fast, that the formerly largest brewery in America became a worthless brand that nobody trusted.

The b-school lesson from this was to drop the quality of your product more slowly so people wouldn’t notice.

I figured no big company would ever suffer consequences from shitty product ever again because they’d figured out the drip instead of the open floodgates.

I hope more companies get to enjoy this fate, especially food producers.

That’s how I try to describe growing up with it when people ask why I don’t to to church or subscribe to any religion.

Aside from the many other aspects of it, even as a child, I couldn’t understand why I was supposed to be so enthusiastically smug that I belonged to this thing that seemed to exist only to impose rules on everything imaginable and that those rules would invariably be against anything even remotely fun or pleasurable. Hell we couldn’t even use most spices; thanks Dr Kellogg.

At age six or so I legitimately perceived it to be sinful to smile or laugh for fear I’d be punished because there would be some arbitrary rule that whatever caused me to smile or laugh was too worldly.

Fuck that. I’ll be miserable and curmudgeonly on my own terms!

I got everything done today. Laundry, grocery shopping, meal prep. Even took down a couple wasp nests that I blasted in the wee hours yesterday morning.

So that means that tomorrow there is no responsibility so I can and probably will do exactly as depicted in the picture.

What a life!

(As to the wasp nests, I’m generally live and let live but these two straddled my door and were making it dangerous to leave or enter the house, so it was them or me. Sorry little wasp buddies)

Usury was indeed the term that immediately came to mind.

I would agree, but it’s not my life, not my money. You can’t really go around telling people they fucked up every time you see it.