Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

🤣

  • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    79
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 hours ago

    They should harness the crazy for good. Make conspiracy theory-sounding stories, but make them factual and get people to take positive action.

    They created chemicals you can inject into the bloodstream that keeps them from getting the Measels.”

    “The overlords in their golden towers want to tell you who you are and aren’t allowed to love.”

  • Eugene V. Debs' Ghost@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    39 minutes ago

    Fucking awesome. Onion has been hitting it hard lately, and this is just the cherry on top. I am hopeful this makes some chuds question their minds.

  • zephorah@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    101
    ·
    4 hours ago

    The funniest piece is going to be seeing old followers believe it’s still the InfoWars they know and love. It took forever for people to stop eating the onion in large numbers, and it still manages to happen on occasion.

    There is opportunity here. Initially, anyway.

    • CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      30
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      2 hours ago

      A part of me actually wished that the Onion would have purchased InfoWars, but in secret, like maybe under a subsidiary corp that has a right-wing sounding name.

      They don’t change Infowars’ branding or anything but the articles become subtly liberal.

      Maybe an overt purchase is better but I really want to troll the right.

      • GladiusB@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        13
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 hour ago

        “Do your swastikas send the right message to your neighbors? Maybe try this instead…”

      • zephorah@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        24 minutes ago

        I don’t think they have to. People are going to consume it like it’s the same old. Inertia and assumption.

    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      48
      ·
      3 hours ago

      I think there’s always going to be that group of people. Another example: folks that didn’t notice that The Colbert Report was satire.

      • Today@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        1 hour ago

        I thought Glenn Beck was satire. Watched it several times and then one day … wait, that’s not a joke?

    • catloaf@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      3 hours ago

      Looks like it’s been down since January. Do you think people are still trying it?

      • zephorah@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        23 minutes ago

        I still have OSINT on my podcast roll even though Bazzell quit. Maybe it’ll come back? I’m sure others have done the same.

  • schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    36 minutes ago

    Wait, what? Which parts of this are satire now? I read the Onion piece that Global Tetrahedron was purchasing InfoWars, but this is a Guardian story saying The Onion is purchasing it? I’m a bit confused.

  • masquenox@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    23
    ·
    3 hours ago

    They should send Alex Jones a $1 “royalty” check every month - just so that he doesn’t forget it.

  • zarkanian@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    164
    ·
    5 hours ago

    My favorite part of this:

    …Collins said that “part of the reason we did bought InfoWars is because people on Bluesky told us it would be funny to buy InfoWars” adding that “those people were right” this “is the funniest thing that has ever happened”.

    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      56
      ·
      3 hours ago

      That also sounds like the kind of prank that Cards Against Humanity would pull if they had access to as much cash. I love this so much.

  • Bosht@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    7
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    2 hours ago

    Oh my god what a power move. More power to them, seriously. Best outcome we could have gotten

  • JoYo@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    25
    ·
    4 hours ago

    im sorry but the owner’s name is tim onion. please publish a correction.

  • qyron@sopuli.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    37
    ·
    4 hours ago

    This is what I call a master class on starting a soft revolution: you take over a symbol of the opposite ideology, in the most outrageous and ridiculous way, make it known to all, and completely subvert it and deconstruct it, piece by piece, until it stops making any sense to its former self.

  • bitchkat@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 hours ago

    They should run it like it was. Then in about a year, just subtly start changing the context. Then before you know it, they are going to start supporting progressive topics.

  • JoYo@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    55
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    5 hours ago

    Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.